“but it only hurts me”

I remember telling my friend, when I started my step four in my recovery work, that some things weren’t important because they only hurt me. My friend called bullshit on that and she also said that I am of value and when I hurt myself I’ve still hurt someone. Often, the things that I thought

resurrection and light

I didn’t know how to set altars for Easter, and I didn’t have the items I needed in order to put anything together, or so I thought. I set two altars that I love, and putting all the elements together is prayer. When I started putting things together, especially as I was making a wreath

just call me judas

A few days ago, a friend and I were discussing that fact that although all of the rosary mysteries are meaningful and worthy of much meditation, the most profound for us are the Sorrowful Mysteries. I think perhaps that just happens when one’s relationship not just with God but with the world has been rocky

jesus, stuff is fucked up and shit

I need to be somewhere that I can exist for free while my kids visit with their father. Everyone else has gone to lunch because they can, and I want to go too but it costs money not to be lonely. I was invited to lunch today. They don’t always invite me, but today they

visual act of contrition

Today I spent a few hours trying something new. I was wanting to create with my hands an act of contrition that would be displayed on my altar. I’ve been thinking a lot of Judas recently as his actions coincide with something I am currently working through. A few weeks ago, I had picked up

the cleansing flood

A prayer to the Holy Spirit… Dear Holy SpiritWelling up inside my heartJust as anger, and grief, and happinessWell up inside meAnd they well up until a raging flood comes pouring outLike a raging volcano of angerLike a waterfall of tears in griefLike a laugh echoing throughout the valley in happinessIt wells up inside meAnd

living liturgically (season one, episode twelve, last sunday after the epiphany)

A friend of mine told me that epiphany is a season of revelation, and that seems to be true for me. There’s been a lot of revelation for me, so much that I’m not quite sure what to do with it, except give it to Jesus which I’m going to be honest and say is

marian consecration prayer

Tomorrow on the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes, I will consecrate myself to Mary and in so doing, ultimately to Jesus, which is the point. I have written my own consecration prayer, but I will also use others as well. For those of you familiar with the baptismal renunciations and promises in the Book

living liturgically (season one, episode eleven, ordinary time 2022)

I wasn’t sure exactly what to write this week (and yes, I know I’m a day late, I was so exhausted yesterday I was unable to do any writing), because there was so much going on, and yet so much was the same. I struggled with an extra helping of depression the last few days

living liturgically (season one, episode eight, epiphany 2022)

I saw a meme on Facebook the other day that, in speaking of the wise men, said “once we meet Jesus, we all go home by another way.” It was quite profound to me then as it is now. Epiphany reminds me of the concept of seeking and finding. I grew up being told about