jesus, stuff is fucked up and shit

I need to be somewhere that I can exist for free while my kids visit with their father. Everyone else has gone to lunch because they can, and I want to go too but it costs money not to be lonely. I was invited to lunch today. They don’t always invite me, but today they

visual act of contrition

Today I spent a few hours trying something new. I was wanting to create with my hands an act of contrition that would be displayed on my altar. I’ve been thinking a lot of Judas recently as his actions coincide with something I am currently working through. A few weeks ago, I had picked up

prayer rope intercessions

When I came to the Episcopal Church, one of the things that I appreciated was the reciting and praying of traditional and memorized prayers. I had gotten to a point where I was unable to pray much at all, and so, although the words Our Father were very difficult because my father was very abusive

invitation from jesus

I run the prayer rope through my thumb and index finger on my right hand, which now has a blister on it from the many hundreds of knots I’ve slid through in the hour I’ve been praying. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. I feel guilty as sin about

have mercy on me for i am in need

This is another of the prayers that I have written during my recovery, when I realized that I am in need of sobriety but cannot achieve it because I sure as hell spent a good portion of my life trying. I’ve been an addict since I was a child, after all, and I had gotten