“but it only hurts me”

I remember telling my friend, when I started my step four in my recovery work, that some things weren’t important because they only hurt me. My friend called bullshit on that and she also said that I am of value and when I hurt myself I’ve still hurt someone. Often, the things that I thought

living liturgically (season one, episode ten, ordinary time 2022)

So far, ordinary time has not been ordinary at all, but that’s usually true in my life anyway. My spirituality is anything but ordinary, and I have this uncanny ability to do absolutely everything the wrong way, and yet it seems that for me and my relationship with Jesus, the order of things is the correct order for me.

penitential rosary

I wanted to share a way in which I pray the rosary in a penitential manner when I’ve fucked up and need God’s help, especially with something in particular, which in this case was pride. Here’s an outline of how I do that, with an example that I prayed recently, after I had already done

penance

I began to explore the life of St. Francis and his spirituality first because of the stigmata. As I looked further into his life, there were some other things I noticed also, one was his insistence on living penance. Until recently, I’d thought of penance as something that’s asked of me when I make a

it’s me again, jesus

Jesus, it’s me again.I feel like I’m a disappointment to you,I’m certainly a disappointment to myself.I know that I promised not to do that again,because I when I promised amendment of life,I truly did mean it at the time.But here I am, having done the same shit again.I learned it as a coping skill.I did

a prayer of repentance, sort of: otherwise titled “fine, Jesus, I’ll do it.”

Me: Jesus, I’ve fucked up again as far as being angry about shit I can’t control and in so doing, gotten to where I don’t feel as close to you, and to where I’m tempted to relapse. The thing is, I know I need to repent and as far as confessing, that’s what I’m doing

my prayer practice

I have wanted to share what some of my prayer practice looks like just to throw some ideas out there for anyone who is interested. I recommend reading Prayer Spa: Ancient Treatments for the Modern Soul as a helpful resource for anyone wanting further ideas on prayer practices. It’s a very short resource with some

step six prayers

As I work through the 12 steps, I’ve been writing prayers for many of them. Here are two prayers I wrote during step 6. Amendment of Life God, I want to recover from my addiction and all the shitty things that I do to myself and to others as part of it. I want you