some of my conversations with the saints #2

St. Mary Magdalene

I want to be as devoted to Jesus as you were. We have a lot in common and I’m frustrated but all those who fight about what your history was, as if your being a sex worker would change your value and worth, because it doesn’t. I think that both you and I know that Jesus is in the business of redemption and healing, and that our past does not determine our status in the Kingdom. The Bible says that those who have sinned much have the opportunity to love Jesus much, and I think that you and I have that opportunity. You took it and ran with it, please help me to do the same, as I’m often still unfaithful despite my love for Jesus and despite how thankful I am for his healing.

St. Veronica

You were in tune enough with what was really going on that you were able to minister to Jesus in a very personal way. I’m not sure if you even knew Jesus or if you were there and saw a way to help that others didn’t see. Either way, you cared enough to take care of him in a time of need. Help me to see the needs of humanity in a way to where I can minister in small and personal ways that contribute to the Kingdom.

Our Lady Undoer of Knots

I know I have been asking you for months to undo all these knots in my life. I meant it then and I mean it now but damn it’s been hard. You have brought the right people into my life to help, and I hope that one day I’m as much of a help to them and others. You did as I asked and have been undoing the knots and then leading me to your son for healing and I just want to say I’m do damn grateful.

St. Lidwina

You know what it’s like to live in chronic pain, and I’m sorry you suffered such. I too live with chronic pain, as well as other chronic conditions, and it’s rough sometimes. You bore your suffering and became a saint. While I will never be a saint, help me to be patient and not project my pain onto others.

St. Paul

I’m still ashamed for the hatred I had for you. It wasn’t that I wasn’t smart enough to know that you weren’t actually being a patriachial asshole, it’s that I was mad about oppressive social structures and you were as good a person to blame as any. I have a friend that called me out on that shit. I’m still embarrassed about needing that to happen, but I’m grateful she did. You and I share many things in common and I need to speak with you more as your conversion was genuine and strong. I want to learn to stay the course as you did, no matter the cost.

St. John

Jesus entrusted the care of his mother to you, which means he trusted you to care for her properly. Thank-you for taking care of Mary, she’s a good mother to so many people.

Published by MaryClare StFrancis

MaryClare StFrancis is a writer who sounds as boring as hell but who is intimately acquainted with the horrific and the sacred. For a long time, darkness has been her friend, but she now walks in the light of Christ. As a committed Episcopalian, her main contribution to the church is her ability to make the priests facepalm or swear, depending on the day and context. MaryClare has a Master of Arts in English and Creative Writing and lives in Mississippi with her four children.

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